Confidence: Over or Under?

          Finding the right balance of confidence is difficult.  Obviously there is positives and negatives to being either over or under confident.  The trick to find the lesser evil.  In my case, I have done it both ways.  And the over is the better choice.
          To be more over confident can be taxing.  But it is taxing on those around you and not necessarily on you directly.  You may come off as arrogant, or cocky, or just plain rude.  And here is what it has taken a while to learn. Even if you can back it up, it still isn't ok.  Depending on how you express yourself, you can sound like a jackass.  Also, you run the risk of making big mistakes, and biting off much more than you can chew.  All this taken into consideration, it shows you believe in yourself.  And it's hard to get others to believe in you, when you don't believe in yourself.
          Being under confident is rough on others, and on you.  When you don't you have doubts about yourself, it affects your performance.  It also affects the things you attempt to do.  As far as others go, they can see it.  They see your doubts, and then they have their own.  You seem wounded, incomplete, and frankly pitiful.  Don't be that guy.
          So for me, I choose the over.  I get more done, and I appear better.  Although sometimes viewed as cocky, it also makes me a go to guy.  If you have a random question, and you know me, chances are I'm the first place you look.  And I like that.

JMO
         

Importance of crappy poetry

          I know it sounds odd, but crappy poetry is important.  That is, assuming you believe good poetry is important.  Anything good is good because of comparison.  Good poetry becomes more rare by the creation of bad poetry.  Let's say that there are a thousand poems, and only one is good.  Now let's say I write 200 crappy poems.  Now there are 1200 poems, and only 1 is good.  A good poem used to be 1 in 1000, now it is 1 in 1200.  This seems obvious, however many people are unable to see it.  After realizing this there are two other things that become obvious.

          First, it stands to reason that if all good poems are this rare, that good poets write a lot of poetry.  Think about this next time you try something and think you have failed.  Realize that those who appear to succeed at the same thing most likely fail many many times. Second is in regards to blogging.  If one blog is good, then great.  But if it sucks, it is only making the good ones sweeter.  By reading crap, you will earn a better appreciation for good things.  Therefore, it doesn't matter if this short entry is worth anything on its own.  In the sum of blog entries, it either increases it's own worth, or the collective worth of the "good" blogs.

          In the end, the true win is in creation, or contribution.  The more that is contributed, the better the good stuff is, and in addition, the more good stuff is available.  So create.  And if it sucks, then you are contributing to someone else, and making their stuff better.

JMO

Everything in perspective

       I know it seems obvious, but things don't matter so much.  The amount of time and thought put into thinking about things is generally wasted, and I am probably more guilty of this than anyone I know.  But the summation of everything does matter.  It's alot like voting.  Chances are your vote isn't going to be the deciding one (and if it was, I'm sure there would be a recount).  But if no one voted, we would be in trouble.  So voting doesn't matter by itself, but in context with everyone else's vote, it makes a difference.  In school, if I fail 1 test, it's not so bad.  If I failed every test for a semester, that is pretty bad.  You have to simultaneuosly not shrug the small stuff while still being aware of the end effect.  Aside from all of this, there is always the fact that you can try again next week, or next semester, or 10 years later.  While I believe we should see the big picture and not worry about little things, I think the things that you should cherish are the small things.  Say I had a 3 hour conversation with someone special and neglected to study.  I fail the test.  Not too bad.  Overall I'm fine.  But as long as it's not a habit, I am actually coming out ahead.  Small 3 hour conversations are fun.  They make you more positive, or can give you more confidence, or just make you happy in general.  This feeling is probably stronger than the feeling of academic success.  It is for me.  It didn't used to be, but I have come to realize one of the most important things in life.  You can't take a degree with you to heaven.  You can't take cars or money or any worldy success.  You can take relationships, though.  And you can take those good deeds you did with someone else and build up heavenly treasures.  It's fun to build up someone else.  I'm really starting to get a hang of this whole "existence" thing.  And I'm liking it more and more.

JMO

Getting back in the swing

Here's to getting on a regular routine.  Here's to doing something weekly (daily???)  Here's to doing this thing right, so that it's potential is realized.

JMO

Busy time... I need a break

Thing sure have gotten busy.  It feels like I have been at school for months now, but it's only been two weeks.  It's gonna be a long semester.  Lucky for me, I am going to a wedding this Friday, so I get a small but needed break.  Here's to airplanes and Ipods.

JMO

I Filmed Today!!!

I filmed stuff today, and I am excited.  Even though most of it sucked, and maybe I'll squeeze two minutes out of twenty, I'm still excited.  I'm doing all that I can to get off the brain crack.  Today's word of encouragement is share.  Share people.

JMO

Goals for life

     I have a couple of life long goals I wanted to get down.  First is to receive an honorary doctorate.  Why would I want to put in all that wasted time when I can just be a badass and someone will give it to me?  Second is to receive the MacArther grant.  I know it's a longshot, but they have to give it to someone.  And maybe some day I will have amassed enough skills to be considered an innovator.  If changing the world's aspect on something is the goal, I want to be a part of it.  And I think I will.